To Teach Him To Love
by BloomAmber
Summary: Tsukino Usagi,Chiba Mamoru; living in the same orphanage,leading completely different lives.With her life reducing because of a sickness,can Usagi save Mamoru from himself? Complete!
1. To Teach Him To Love: Meeting

**A/N: **_This is yet another story that I have finished on my word document. It's not perfect, but it's finished! I revised it, but there will be a few mistakes.I hope you have you guys let me know whenever you find even one!_

**Credits: **I DO NOT OWN SAILOR MOON! But the story is all a creation of my mind!

**Summery: **_Tsukino Usagi, already facing a brutal life of an orphanage, now has to help Chiba Mamoru with his hate for life by attempting to be his friend and helping him see the wonders of love. All this proves to harden when she is a targeted with a sickness she would not reveal to anyone but the doctors. With her life-line reducing dramatically, how can she keep the promise she made to her new friend and herself when death could just as well be around the corner?_

* * *

**To Teach Him To Love**

**Chapter 1**

My name is Tsukino Usagi, and I am sixteen years old, diagnosed with... well, I'd rather not say, for it's not important.

What is important, though, is that I am hurting someone I love a lot, just by writing this. However, I need him to know... I need Mamoru to know how I feel about him.

I had never had a family, you see. I was sent to Lilly Valley Orphanage to live with Irene and Ken Wayne when I was very little. My father did not want my mother, just as my mother did not want me.

I spent most of my time in my room, although when I saw Mamoru... The things I wouldn't do for him.

I am writing this letter mostly so he wouldn't miss me too much. So he understands why I don't want him to do anything too rash to destroy his life.

Mamoru.... is harsh. He hates me. He intimidates me. Loathes me. But there is a part of him that he so generously opened up for me, that makes me proud to have shined in his life. Little by little he began to open himself up to me, and became looser and friendlier with more people besides myself.

I have never had a home other that Lilly Valley. In a way, it became my home. However, I am grateful to have a home that ensures I have clothes, food in my stomach, and a bed to sleep on – or, in my case, cry into – every night.

You see, me being alive has never been much of a thrill, mostly because I was a social outcast who never really saw the point in living. I was constantly depressed, hardly ever talking, and staying hidden every chance I could from society.

Mr. and Mrs. Weyne are the only family I had, before a third came into the picture. They loved me, and listened to me, and housed me in their six-story –not even kidding, they're pretty rich – house. Sadly, out of all the thirty-something (or was it forty, now?) kids in this orphanage, I had never really found a place to fit in.

Now, don't go thinking up some selfless kid. In fact, I'm more selfish than you'll ever know. I could have left Mamoru alone when he came here, spared him more pain, but I was selfish and probably desperate to get some social standing. Whatever reason, I'm not sure. Also, I could have told Irene and Ken about my sickness, but I didn't want to face the public, so I was selfish enough to risk my own health. I am being selfish even now, writing words that may hurt Mamoru, but I need him to know...

Oh, my... My hand is getting tired, and I need to start my story. Let me hope that I am able to finish writing this before I go unconscious.

--

I watched the sun gleam through my window, past me sitting on the box I usually lounge around on, and into my dark room.

Today, a new boy is supposed to arrive. I could see almost everyone in the orphanage outside, pretending to play when really, they all want to see the mystery that is Chiba Mamoru first.

Mr. Wayne went to go pick him up from the hospital, and should be back soon, as he had been there for around an hour or two.

In truth, I felt sorry for him. But I knew that he didn't need my me clarify. Mamoru had been put into a situation lately, which, of course, is unknown to us for the sake of his privacy, and it will only burden him more. I know how I was depressed when I found out the truth of my mother – that she left me in some other orphanage until, eventually, I ended up here, with my caregivers Ken and Irene.

I was torn and upset and wondered how cruel someone could be to give up their only daughter. But, then, I wasn't exactly picture perfect at all, no was I?

The point is, I don't even remember my mother, but he will remember his loved one. He probably even spent his whole life with them.

The honking horn brought me out of my thoughts, and I instantly jumped at the sound and watched as Mr. Wayne's car pulled into the drive.

And then something came over me. I don't even know what, but for some odd reason, I wanted to be there, too, when Mamoru came out. I wanted to greet him, and to talk to him.

So, I ran out of my room, the blue silk of my dress moving around wildly at my knees as I ran past Mrs. Wayne and through the door.

A croud had formed near the car, and I was stuck with the options of going through the croud or around the croud.

Now, most would have probably taken the shorter trip and went through the crowd. But I was too weak to push past all the elbows and bodies, so I was forced to run around it until, when I finally could see the door where Mamoru would come out open, I was gasping for air and bending over.

"Usagi?"

I looked up at Mr. Wayne, who watched me worriedly, and then noticed Mamoru.

He was a good looking boy – or, a man, since he looked around seventeen, give or take a year. Hoever, he had some aura of an innocence a child would have, which made me think that perhaps he was still growing up. But I really couldn't judge.

Now that I had actually began to notice my surroundings, I realized the kids were murmuring about me, all eyes on me, wide eyed, as if I had just landed from the sky using a parachute in an elf costume.

"Look who left her room!"

"Is she the one that stays in room 202?"

"I think so.."

"Who _is _that?"

"Looks like little girl came out to play. Or maybe she wants friends."

I made a point to ignore them. But then, Mamoru, who had obviously been listening to all the crude remarks about me, said, "What's wrong with you?"

"Um... nothing's wrong with me," I said.

He frowned. He couldn't hear me, figures.

Did I mention I was practically mute? Well, I am. I mean, let's face it, when you find only about sixty-seven words – estimating here, so don't go all 'What the heck' on me – to say per year, it happens. So, let's see, I have a weak body, no voice, and no social status. At all.

"What? Speak up."

"Nothing's wrong with me!" I said, louder. It hurt my throat, but at least he heard. Though with some difficulty, I noticed.

"Really?" he asked. "Then why is it that when you came out, everyone looked at you with the most practical shocked expression I have ever seen? Don't look at me like that. I aint blind."

That stung. It really, really stung. Why had I come out here again?

"Stop it, Mamoru. Everyone's your friend here, and we expect you to treat each other fairly," Mr. Wayne cut in.

But I had already turned, for I felt my knees turning to jell-o, a normal response from my body to protect itself. But that didn't mean I liked it. So, locking my knees, I began to race back, hoping not to fall.

Luck hates me, however.

I had gotten all the way to the steps when my knees finally gave in and I fell. Mr. Wayne was by my side in minutes, calling out for his wife to come and help me to my room.

"Irene! Something's wrong with her."

Mrs. Wayne came rushing within seconds, but I had already recovered and began to push Mr. Wayne away. At first he didn't notice, but then when he did, he let go of me and watched, ready to catch me, as I ran up the three steps and into the house, and sighed in relief when the door closed soundly behind me.

--

Mrs. Wayne had accompanied me to my room to make sure I got there soundly, and I whispered a thanks, not sure if she heard as she closed the door behind her. Then, I went back to my wooden box and looked out at the driveway I was so used to looking at. The kids had all crowded around Mamoru, all wanting to get to know him, all trying to make him part of their group.

But, as I watched, kids began to disperse, some alone, some in groups arms in arms, until only Mamoru and Mr. Wayne were left standing, Mr. Wayne frowning disaprovingly at Mamoru.

And that made me slightly smug. I mean, first day here, and Mr. Wayne give him _the look_, whilst I never once got it.

Later that day, I was getting ready for bed, which was my favorite time, mostly because I got to visit the world of dreams. In the world of dreams, I could be anything and do anything. I could be a singer with the perfect voice; a dancer with the perfect body; have a mom and a sister; my wits could be strong, and I could be brave.I could be an acrobat, or a clown. Anything my heart desired.

But I was not an acrobat, or clown, and I definitely didn't have a voice, healthy body, or a family. And that's what seperated fantasy from reality...

The door to my room opened and I looked up as Mrs. Wayne came in again, her face twisted in worry. She put her hands on my shoulder. I liked her hands. Although they were rough from working on laundry, cooking, and so on and so forth, they were motherly and soft and warm, too. They were perfect.

"My, that boy will be a handful," she murmured, shaking her head. "Do you think you can talk to him, Usagi?"

I shook my head.. I mean, as much as I'd love to help her, let's face it, I'm not cut out to do so.

"Please hun? He's feeling kind of down. Remember once when you were feeling down, I told you something? What did I say?"

"'You're not alone'," I whispered, quoting her exact words from years ago. Ones I had put in my diary and read every time I was upset.

She nodded. "I said 'you're not alone', didn't I?" She rubbed my shoulder, also looking out at the driveway. "Well, he needs someone to say that for him, too. You think you're up for it?"

I sighed. I didn't want to disappoint her, so finally I got up.

"That a girl! You go talk to him. He's staying in the room Meg stayed before she was adopted. Do you remember where it is?"

When I nodded she sighed in relief and watched as I walked out of my room.

I then began to walk down the hall slowly, admiring the blue wallpaper the seemed to shine, and the carpeting. Then I turned the corner and knocked on first door I saw.

When there was no answer, I opened it quietly and peeked in. Mamoru was sitting in his bed, looking at a photograph, eyes red and puffy from crying. In fact, I could see tears in his eyes right now.

I walked over to him and saw down next to him on the bed, looking curiously at the photo. But he noticed me, and quickly shoved it away, and wiped his face on his sleeve. "What do you want?"

"You're not alone," I whispered.

"_What_?"

"You're not alone," I repeated, louder, and hugged him around the waist.

"I realize that," he grumbled, "because you're in here with me, when I'd really like the room to myself."

I lifted my hands to his cheeks, remembering so long ago when Mrs. Wayne had done it to me when I felt sad. "Do you feel it?"

"Feel what?" he asked.

"The heat. Can you feel it?"

A moment passed before he began to laugh and pushed me away, mimiking my voice, "The heat. Do you hear youself?"

"Perfectly well," I replied, although now I kinda wish I hadn't come here, feeling embarrassed.

"Well, I don't. What are you, mute?"

"Well... kinda, you see, I don't talk much so-"

He sighed, "None of my business."

"It is now."

"Huh?" he asked, turning to look at me, as if he hadn't heard right.

"It's your business now, too. Once someone admits to something, then two lives are knotted."

He shook his head. "You're crazy, you know that?"

"And every time you tell someone something, they are part of your life because the knot has been tied. And the more you reveal, the tighter the knot. It's called the Knot of Life.

A moment passed, and I put my hands around him, hugging him. I could hear his heart speeding up, and then, suddenly, he began to shake. It wasn't until I looked up that I realized that he had begun to cry, and I began to cry, too.

"Why are you crying?" his voice wavered as silent tears continued to fall down his cheeks.

"I don't know."

"You really are crazy."

And we stayed like that for only God knows how long, just crying, talking, and sitting.

**TBC**

**A/N:** Review please!


	2. To Teach Him To Love: From Cold To Warm

**A/N: **_This is yet another story that I have finished on my word document. It's not perfect, but it's finished! I revised it, but there will be a few mistakes.I hope you have you guys let me know whenever you find even one!  
_

**Thanks:**

**LauraDrazen: **_Well, she's sick with something, that's for sure. Enjoy the second chapter!_

**jessicam242: **_Here ya go!_

**Amydali86: **_(chuckles) I'll try to keep it good throughout the story. The ending is my absolute favorite! There are seven chapters Plus Epilogue._

**bunnykim89: **_I will update as much as I possibly am able to._

**SailorMoonForever: **_^-^ Thank-you! It didn't exactly take a month like I planned. Once I got the story going, it took me three days only to finish. I seem to be able to write once the introductions and the other boring stuff are over and done with! Thanks for your review. _

**Credits: **I DO NOT OWN SAILOR MOON! But the story is all a creation of my mind!

**Summery: **_Tsukino Usagi, already facing a brutal life of an orphanage, now has to help Chiba Mamoru with his hate for life by attempting to be his friend and helping him see the wonders of love. All this proves to harden when she is a targeted with a sickness she would not reveal to anyone but the doctors. With her life-line reducing dramatically, how can she keep the promise she made to her new friend and herself when death could just as well be around the corner?_

* * *

**To Teach Him To Love  
**

**Chapter 2**

I awoke from my deep slumber about nothing in particular, somehow a bit happier than any other day. It was odd, feeling this happy. Happiness was something I seldom experienced.

I took a moment to just sit there and let my body awaken, then bounced out of my bed and went to get dressed.

Today, I chose some shorts and a button-up blue T-shirt. I left my hair down, and put on some blue flip-flops.

As I skipped down the stairs taking two at a time, I wondered to myself if Mamoru would be able to find the dining room – where we ate. I thought about going up to ask him if he needed help finding his way, but then I realized that he may be asleep.

Well, you can imagine my surprise when I came down and saw him sitting in the chair I usually sit in this early…

So I'm not going to be the only one getting up early and avoiding the other kids anymore, eh?

"Good morning." I murmured, sitting down in front of him. He picked up his plate, with a few left-over egg chunks, and left the room grumbling a 'thank-you' to Irene.

"Good morning, Usagi."

I smiled at Mr. and Mrs. Wayne who came to join me for breakfast like always. Mr. Wayne wore his business suit looking as dashing as ever, so I'm guessing that some kid was getting adopted today, and Mrs. Wayne had taken some extra time to put a red bow into her dark hair and added some make-up to her pale face. She looked… exceptionally beautiful today.

"What's eating Mamoru?" I asked quietly. I knew that they could hear me. Unlike most people, they had taken the time to get to know me, and I think that my muteness has actually helped their hearing instead of reducing it. That, or they read my lips.

"He's just grumpy. Usagi, I'm proud of you. Thank you so much for talking to him. He was so much lighter hearted than yesterday."

I nodded at Mrs. Wayne.

She put a plate of eggs in front of me. I took my fork and dug in. Mr. and Mrs. Wayne started talking about mindless things like grocery shopping and doing the laundry. I sat peacefully to myself, content with my own company, like always. I savored every piece of egg that found its way into my mouth, and then I drank some of the orange juice. I grabbed an apple and muttered a thank-you as I left, making it out just before the other kids piled into the room.

--

Today was the kind of day when the little kids in this orphanage went outside to play tag, hide and seek, hop scotch, and other silly little games that amused them. It was a fairly good day, not too hot, the wind from the south blowing in a not-so-chilly and more like a relaxing way. I had not gone outside, but went to read a book up in my room instead.

It was later on today when I decided to join the kids outside, not able to resist the sun that would fall onto my skin. Everyone once again stared at me when I came out, and a few older boys playing basketball had gawked at me, but this time I did not pay as much attention to them as I did yesterday. I sat down on the swing and looked across the playground.

Everyone was playing with at least two other people, or they were in a group sitting on the grass and talking, so that is why my eyes instantly fell on Mamoru, who was just leaning against a tree, his eyes closed. He had worn some jeans and a sweater. I found myself wondering how he didn't feel warm at all wearing that.

I frowned and got up, walking over to him. I stopped, though, when I felt a sudden pain in my chest. It pricked at me like a thousand sharp needles. Gasping in surprise, I fell to my knees as they turned to jell-o. The needles didn't stop. Instead, they grew, going up to my throat. My hands flew to my throat. I clenched my teeth. I could already feel it passing, though it still tortured me.

I sat there for a few more minutes, cringing in my own misery. It took a few moments, but it passed slowly. When it lifted, I felt a tremendous relief. It had been like putting your hand to the stove or onto the sun and not being able to take it away afterwards. I really felt the need to take a nice, cold drink at the moment, but I knew that I still wanted to talk to Mamoru.

Breathing heavily, I looked up at him. He was looking at me, a cold glare fixed on his face. I could see that I wouldn't be able to say anything to him. And I was certainly surprised… It had gone so well yesterday. What had caused such a change? Maybe he wasn't in his right mind last night…

I got up, and then pushed my legs to run past him into the house. I ran up the stairs, past a surprised Mrs. Wayne and a woman holding some documents, and into my room, shutting the door with a loud BANG behind me, and slid down to the ground.

I had really believed we had gotten some progress… I guess I really was desperate for friends. After all, if I wasn't, this would not have been so painful to my heart.

--

My day had not gone so well after that. I just sat in my room, looking out into the driveway. I had taken out my diary – yes, I keep one of those. Irene gave it to me because I had refused to express my feelings – and wrote down what had happened yesterday and today. Then I expressed my curiosity about what had happened when I was walking toward Mamoru. I put the diary on my bed and went to sit down on the wooden box, continuing with my thoughts of wonder.

It took me a while to notice it had darkened outside. I sat on my box for a few more minutes, finally putting off my pain as something that happens to everyone.

I got dressed into my night gown and was about to climb into bed when I suddenly glanced at my diary, which I had never put away. I grabbed it and made a quick decision to say good night to Mamoru, for God knows why.

I went to his room first, guessing he might be in there. When I turned the corner, I was hit with a sudden feeling of the nerves. Standing there, I tried desperately to calm myself down. 'I'm just saying goodnight' I thought. 'It's just a nice gesture to a fellow human. Nothing to worry about, Usagi, so calm down…'

I took a deep breath through my mouth, then released it, and reached the door knob, turning it slowly. The door opened, and I stepped in. It was dark in here – a lot darker than I had expected it to be. At first, I thought no one was in the room, but then I heard a soft choke.

My eyes widened, and I closed the door behind me. I let my eyes adjust to the dark, and once they had, I looked around. Mamoru was on his bed, his head in his knees. His shoulders shook roughly, and his right hand held the picture from yesterday.

I gasped, shocked. He was… crying? I crossed the room, and settled down on his bed. I put my diary on the other side of me, and reached out to wrap my arms around him.

"Mamoru, what's wrong?"

He didn't reply.

"Are you alright?"

No reply.

"Mamoru…?"

I could hear his hiccups from the tears.

"Oh, Mamoru… It's alright…" I put my arms around him. "Shh… It's alright."

Suddenly, he sat up. I moved away to give him room to stretch.

He leaned back, wiping the tears with his hand.

"You think I'm a cry baby," he said, sounding convinced.

"No, I don't," I replied.

"Yes, you do! I'm a mess…"

"I was a mess when I came here, too. Everyone was."

The room fell quiet.

"Not as much as me," he finally replied, breaking the silence after a little while.

"Want to bet?" I asked. "I've had this diary ever since I was seven. That's when I realized I was in the orphanage and why I was here."

He didn't reply.

"Look…" I opened my diary to the first page where a bunch of big letters were scrawled messily onto the page. "December 5th, 2000. I cannot believe it," I read, "My mom doesn't like me… Gosh… am I stupid or what?"

I heard him chuckle. "You're reading me your diary?"

I shrugged. "Why not?"

"Aren't you embarrassed?"

"Why should I be? This is what I felt when I was seven. I shouldn't feel embarrassed because of something that I once thought."

"You're such an oddling," he whispered. "I hurt you with my words; you come to tell me it's alright. I glare at you when you're in pain; you come to comfort me."

I sighed, "Oh… How bad did that one look?"

"Huh?"

"When I was in pain, how bad did I look?"

"You're worried about how you _looked_? Well… in pain…"

"I know _that_!" I snapped. "I mean… did I look like a monster or…? Why were you glaring?"

He sighed. "Why are you even in here?"

"You didn't answer my question."

"Neither did you."

"I asked first."

"So?"

"What do you mean, 'So'?"

"I mean that I don't care."

"You are so-"

"What? Naive? I think that's you, not me."

I growled. This wasn't leading us anywhere at all.

"I'm in here to wish you a good night."

"Good night."

"Good night."

Pause…

"Aren't you going to leave?"

"No, I am not."

"This is my room!"

"Technically, it's been five other kids' room, too, so…"

"This is ridiculous! How would you feel if someone came into your room and didn't leave while you were having an emotional crisis?"

"That already happens. Kids like to make fun of me."

"Then push them out!"

"I can't!"

"Why can't you?!"

I sighed. I could see we wouldn't be able to go through this without fighting. "I'm weak."

"That's no way to speak of your self. You should be ashamed!"

"But that's not what I mean… I mean physically."

"Huh?"

"Yes, I have a weak body."

"Well, I can see that…"

"What do you mean?"

"When was the last time you looked into a mirror?"

"This morning…"

"Well, you must not have been paying attention to how fragile you look. I feel like just by touching you, I could break a bone. Your skin is practically sticking onto your bones."

"But it's not."

"You need to get some meat on you. I could use you as a skeleton example in class."

I growled, causing him to laugh. I liked his laugh… It made my heart race. Whenever I heard that sound, and not the usual bitter laugh he made, it made me all warm inside.

"I don't need any meat."

"Oh, yea, you do. How much do you weigh?"

"I weigh ninty-seven pounds."

"And how old are you?"

"I'm turning sixteen on the 30th."

"That's sick."

"Why is it?"

He laughed again, and I felt my heart flip. "Most girls your age are in the hundreds."

"They're fat…"

"Or you're skinny. Hundreds are normal, nineties aren't. Do you eat at all?"

"I do…"

"What did you have for dinner?"

"I had nothing."

"What did you have for Lunch?"

"I didn't have anything for Lunch."

"What about breakfast?"

"Eggs…"

"That's it?"

"And orange juice, and an apple!"

"Dang… You really _do_ need to eat more. Aren't you hungry?"

"No, I am not hungry."

"Well, you don't get enough nutrients into your body. Maybe that's why you're weak?"

"I doubt it."

"I don't."

I giggled. "This is silly. I think I weigh enough."

"When was the last time you checked how much you weigh?"

"Um… I think a week ago."

"Did you lose any pounds?"

"I think I lost four…"

"Oh my…"

"What?!"

"What you're doing really isn't healthy…"

"Why do people keep telling me that?"

"Because we're not the ones trying to kill ourselves by starving."

"But I'm not starving!"

"That's what they all say."

I spent the rest of the night talking to him about these silly things, afraid to leave him. I did not want him to cry, nor did I want his kind nature to turn its back on me again and put on that cold façade.

**TBC**

**A/N:**_ Please review!_


	3. To Teach Him To Love: Announcement

**A/N: **_It seems that this chapter is a tad short... oh well! I'll update more tomorrow. Enjoy for now!  
_

**Thanks:**

**jessicam242: **_Well, what better way to find out other than reading? Please enjoy this chapter, thank you for reviewing!  
_

**bunnykim89: **_They are cute, aren't they? One of my favorite anime couples. She does seem sick, doesn't she? Hehehe. Anyhoo, thanks for the reaview, enjoy the chapter!  
_

**SailorMoonForever: **_Hmmm... eating disorder, you say? That's a good one to have picked up from the second chapter. Thanks for your review, enjoy this chapter!  
_

**Credits: **I DO NOT OWN SAILOR MOON! But the story is all a creation of my mind!

**Summery: **_Tsukino Usagi, already facing a brutal life of an orphanage, now has to help Chiba Mamoru with his hate for life by attempting to be his friend and helping him see the wonders of love. All this proves to harden when she is a targeted with a sickness she would not reveal to anyone but the doctors. With her life-line reducing dramatically, how can she keep the promise she made to her new friend and herself when death could just as well be around the corner?_

* * *

**To Teach Him To Love  
**

**Chapter 3**

For two weeks, Mamoru and I worked on our friendship. There were occasions when Mamoru was cold towards me. I had learned that he did not mean it. He was really hurting inside. I would leave him alone to think. But that was in the morning. During the night, we shared a kind of bond that could not be explained. It was as if when twilight arrived, the walls around us fell with it. I would go to his room and we would tease each other for hours. As a result, we ended up sleeping through mornings and occasionally afternoons. Mr. and Mrs. Wayne would not mind it. They were, instead of worried, gleeful. And Mamoru could now hear me between the fifty four centimetre table during breakfast, and I didn't even have to strain my voice for him anymore. It was all working out, and we both felt like we had found something very, very special in each others company.

Mamoru told me that his parents died in a car accident and they were all a very, very tight family. I told him about how I ended up here at Lilly Valley Orphanage. When we share such secrets between each other, it is as if our lives at stronger knotted. Right now, it was as if the string in the knot was about to rip off because of the strength put into it to tie it up, but somehow it just managed to not break.

My birthday came and went, and no one cared, like usual. Or so I thought. When I came into my room, an hour before twilight, I found a red box tied with a golden bow on my bed. It was small, it was precious. Inside it was a beautiful perfume bottle which curled up in this fancy way, and a note. Mamoru had written 'Happy birthday, bunny' in his neat cursive. He signed it 'love Mamoru', and not 'sincerely', which had made me keep the note itself. I did not use the perfume, though. I would never use it except for when a special day between him and me would come. And I kept it in that little red box, along with the letter.

But then… a horrible, horrible thing happened a few days after my birthday. It all began with a little pain in my chest and throat. But the pain grew. It grew into a tremendous agony, not enough for even me to bear…

--

It was a normal afternoon. I had come down to have breakfast, and sat down at my new usual chair in front of Mamoru. We shared a secret glance at each other to make sure that neither of us were upset, and then went along eating our breakfast. We'd whisper a few words to each other when no one was in the room and pick at our foods..

But then, the pain in my chest started.

I spit out the piece of bread that Mamoru had stuffed in my mouth in the middle of my protest, telling me that I needed to eat more, again, and hugged my body, waiting for the pain to increase.

It didn't disappoint me…

Mamoru knew the procedure. By now, everyone around me knew the procedure. He was up from his seat in seconds, forcing my hands to part from around myself so that I could breathe easily… But this time, it was different.

The pain didn't stop at my throat. After it reached my throat, I felt it lower down to my waist, it crawled to my knees and wimply slugged to my toes.

I heard myself scream, the first loud sound I had ever made.

I saw Mamorus eyes glance around the room, worried. When I saw him get up, I yelled for him not to leave me.

He looked torn between getting me help or staying by my side. I fell out of my chair to my knees, clutching myself again.

"Mamoru… no…" I managed to whimper.

He was by my side again. I felt his warmth through the vital stings of the needles inside of me. My breathing began to shallow again.

"Usagi, don't do that. You know you can't breathe when you do that!"

I screamed again.

"Mr. Wayne!" I heard Mamoru call.

No one came.

"Mrs. Wayne!"

I heard the precious seconds pass, and the pain did not stop. I could feel myself drifting off… blacking out. I did not want to black out…

Finally, Mr. Wayne ran into the room. His eyes landed on us, and in a second, he was yelling orders to Mamoru and dialing a number on his phone.

Mrs. Wayne joined us after that. She helped Mamoru carry me to the love seat in the living room next to the dining room. She then applied a cold cloth to my forehead, but I wouldn't admit that it did nothing.

That was the last thing I felt.

The next thing I knew, I woke up with doctors hovering over me. I heard a rapid "beep, beep, beep" to my right. I noticed the wires strapped to my skin.

I began to panic. I heard the "beep, beep" thing exhilarate until it was running wild.

"Calm down! Calm down!" one man said.

"Where am I? What am I doing here?!"

The panicky edge to my voice felt unfamiliar. It felt… loud. It was as if my ears had gained their ability of hearing three times of what it used to be.

"You're in the hospital. You've been unconscious for almost thirty four hours."

"Thirty… four?"

"That's right. How do you feel?"

I pondered that question. "I feel…" The beeping slowed. "I feel like… I'm going to puke."

"I am so sorry about that. Ms. Tsukino, I want you to listen to me."

I nodded.

"You have a sickness."

I listened to the doctor tell me about this 'sickness'. He told me that my life was being affected because of it. He told me that I have carried it for years, and it had just spread for no particular reason. And he told me that I had only two months left to live, from what he could tell.

That did it.

"Two months!"

"I'm sorry, Ms. Tsukino."

"B-but I can't die! I have got someone I need to live for!"

I did not want to die. I knew it wasn't because I was selfish. It was because I promised Mamoru once, so many days ago when our friendship was in new bloom, that I would be there for him forever. I told him forever! This was hardly forever! Two months?! I just couldn't die in two months! I-I couldn't! What would happen to Mamoru? I'd hurt him so, so much!

The doctor brushed the wet from my cheeks, and that's when I noticed I had begun to cry.

I couldn't die. I wanted to live!

'I take it back!' my mind screamed at the heavens. 'I don't want to die! I take back all those times I had said I wanted to die! I don't want to die! Do you hear me?! I don't!!'

I closed my eyes tightly, and reopened them, hoping this was all just a bad dream. But it wasn't.

My life was ending – soon.

And I had no say in this whatsoever. Huh... This sorta reminds me of the thought, "You don't know what you have until the end".

--

The doctor left after I made them promise not to tell anyone about this, not even my caregivers, giving me time to process all the information that has been laid out onto me. It was a few hours later that a nurse came in, telling me I had guests.

"Bring them in," I sighed.

"Usagi… oh, Usagi…"

I looked up, unsmiling. Mr. and Mrs. Wayne stood at the door. Mrs. Wayne had tears in her eyes, and Mr. Wayne had laid a protective hand on her shoulder.

"Hey," I croaked. Now that I had time to relax, I realized that my throat hurt. Apparantly, it was because of the scans that the doctors had done. The put some tube down my throat. Glad to know I wasn't awake for _that_.

"Oh… Are you alright?"

"Barely…"

Mrs. Wayne walked over to me, wrapping me in a tight bear hug. "Oh… Usagi…"

"I have… two months left to live."

My voice sounded weak and dull. I had accepted this, but I did not want it.

"No… No! That's not…"

Mr. Wayne rushed to Mrs. Wayne to hug her.

"That's not fair!" I heard her sob into Mr. Wayne's shirt.

You're telling me.

"What do you have?! What disease caused such a change?!"

I ignored Mr. Wayne's question. Instead, I asked my own.

"Is Mamoru with you?"

I was hoping he wasn't. I didn't want to tell him – but he deserved to know, I knew.

"Yes," Mr. Wayne said. "He is."

**TBC**

**A/N:**_ Please review!_


	4. To Teach Him To Love: First Move

**A/N: **_I lost chapter 4 in an editing crisis for this story, but luckily it was only chapter 1 and 4 that I lost (I transfered all the chapters and checked!) So I rewrote it. Let's hope it's as good as the first time!)_

**Credits: **I DO NOT OWN SAILOR MOON! But the story is all a creation of my mind!

**Summery: **_Tsukino Usagi, already facing a brutal life of an orphanage, now has to help Chiba Mamoru with his hate for life by attempting to be his friend and helping him see the wonders of love. All this proves to harden when she is a targeted with a sickness she would not reveal to anyone but the doctors. With her life-line reducing dramatically, how can she keep the promise she made to her new friend and herself when death could just as well be around the corner?_

* * *

**To Teach Him To Love**

**Chapter 4**

When Mamoru entered my hospital room, he looked like a deer caught in headlights. A glaring deer in headlights, that is. I wasn't sure whether it was because of me, though, since he had a faraway look in his eyes.

"Come, sit," I said, patting the spot next to me. He obliged, and settled down right next to me. He was still glaring, which made me nervous.

"Listen, Mamoru, my condition is... not so good."

"When will you get better? What is it?"

I bit down on my lip. It's now or never...

But I didn't want to tell him. I knew that it would only result in hurting him. I also knew that I had to.

"I will die in two months."

His eyes went cold. And then he got up silently and left.

--

I had no visitors at all, and after two days the doctor told me that I could go back home to see my friends. Mr. Wayne came to pick me up, and when we drove up to Lilly Valley Orphanage, no one was there to greet me.

I walked through the door first, and Mr. Wayne followed soon after. He told me to go wash up for dinner, and right on cue Mrs. Wayne emerged from the kitchen with two trays in her hands.

She looked at me, nodded, and gestured to the dining room where everyone sat for dinner. Well... everyone but Mamoru.

"Could you talk to him?" Mr. Wayne asked when he noticed me searching the faces for him. "He hasn't eaten since we came back from the hospital."

I nodded, already a full step ahead of him.

I went to my room to change my clothes to a fresh skirt and top, then headed towards Mamoru's room.

When I reached the corner, though, I wasn't sure what I'd encounter. But after being forced to take medicine, getting stuff shoved down my throat, and needles being placed in every section of my body, I could surely handle Mamoru.

It was better said than done, though.

I didn't bother knocking, and opened the door. It was dark inside, and it took me a moment to realize that Mamoru was in his bed wearing only sweatpants.

"I don't want any dinner, Mrs. Wayne, I thought I already-" he looked up and the words died in the air as he looked at me.

"Didn't you get out of bed at all today?" I asked.

"What do you want?"

"I'm home."

There was a long pause before he finally said, "I hate you, go away."

Instead, I walked over to him and put my arms around his waist. "I love you."

"I don't need you."

"I do."

"Usagi," his voice was steady, but I knew there was a temper behind the words, "I want you to leave before I do something I'll later regret."

I knew better than to underestimate the warning, so I placed a soft kiss on his cheek, hurt when he flinched, and walked back to the door. But before I left, I whispered, "I missed you." I was not sure if he heard.

I closed the door soundlessly behind me and began to make my way to the dining room.

At dinner, everything was different. There were no jabs at me when I showed up from any of the kids. Rob, one of the fifteen-year-olds in the orphanage, had helped me into a chair. Whenever I asked for the salt, or maybe some cheese or sausages, the kids would gladly help. Stace, the girl sitting next to me, would occasionally pour me some orange juice when my cup was empty.

But everyone kept looking at me, worried that I'd had an attack at the table. It made me nervous, but I tried to eat like I hadn't even noticed the sideways glances. It helped when Mr. Wayne began to tell us a story of when he was younger and had a dog, since it broke the thick silence in the room.

I was glad, however, to have been able to finally hang out with the kids of Lilly Valley without being judged. I finally felt needed. And at home.

--

After dinner, I went to my room to change for bed. Digging through piles of familiar things, I dug up my pajama bottoms and a top, then pulled my hair down. I was about to go to Mamoru as my regular routine, when I suddenly noticed a pale purple letter on my bed. The only words on it, in Mamoru's neat handwriting, were

_Usagi,_

_Don't come today,_

_Mamoru_

I stood there, staring at the words. Then, instead of feeling intimidated as I usually would have, I took the note across the hall and put it in the paper shredder, and continued to do so until only small pieces were left over. I threw those out into the trash and proceeded to make my way to Mamoru's room.

When I got there, I opened the door and walked in. Then I noticed him on the bed, sleeping. But as I walked closer to him I realized that I was mistaken; that he was pretending to sleep.

I settled down on the edge of his bed, and twisted my body so that I could put my hands on his bare chest. Heat radiated from his body, sending electricity up my spine.

"Mamoru... I know you're awake. Come on, talk to me." I paused. "Why did you write that note to me, Mamoru?"

When he said nothing, I sighed. "Alright, I'll be doing all the talking then. Listen, Mamoru, I didn't ask for this fate. All I want to do is live, but, then again, I guess I spent so much time wishing I were not taking up the space on Earth, that I got my wish."

His breathing had become irregular, so I put my head on his chest. "I love you, Mamoru. With all my heart."

We sat engulfed in silence until finally I lifted my head and moved towards him until both of our noses were touching. His mouth opened slightly, his breath mingling with mine.

"Mamoru," I breathed. Then I leaned down and captured his lips with mine.

I was surprised when his hands snaked around my waist, but not displeased. My hand traveled up his chest and cupped his cheek as he kissed me back.

It felt... magical. There was this electricity that buzzed through my body, a longing towards him. And as he bit down on my bottom lip, teasing me, my heart was about ready to burst. I pulled away, but our lips were only millimeters apart. I took a deep breath, wanting this moment to last. And as his head shot up, he captured my lips again, and one of his hands moved their way up to my hair, brushing the strands from my face.

Finally, I sighed and sat up, moving to position myself against the wall. I patted the spot next to me, still too affected by his kiss to say anything.

Mamoru groaned and sat up, moving to sit with me. He nuzzled his face in my neck, kissing it gently before moving up to my jaw, and finally to my ear. "I liked our earlier position better," he said, sending shivers down my spine.

"As did I, but it was hurting my back."

"Oops," he breathed.

His head rested on my shoulder, kissing my neck every few seconds before I finally spoke, my voice weak because of the things he was doing. "Why did you give me that note?"

"I didn't want you to worry about me," he replied between his butterfly kisses.

"I always worry about you."

"Mmm..."

"Mamoru," I murmured, grabbing his hand and intertwining our fingers, "tell the truth."

He stopped and sighed. "Alright, fine, you want the truth? I was scared. Scared to feel what I felt after my parents died. Scared to have you leave me, because... I care about you." He squeezed my fingers. "Our lives are knotted, remember?"

I laughed and nodded. "Yes, they are."

He paused, breathing hard, and I was afraid of what was going through his mind. Finally, he said, "I think you should leave."

It surprised me and it hurt. A lot. And I felt so confused, so rejected, that I began to get up without a word.

But then he wouldn't let go of my hand, and I turned back to him, questioning his intentions with my eyes.

"I said that you should," he replied, "not that I want you to."

He wrapped his arms around my waist, engulfing me in warmth. I rested against his chest, listening to his heavy breathing.

"I'm afraid of losing you," he finally said. I looked down at my hands, not sure what to say. "I thought it would be better to distance myself from you while I could. But I realized that I can't.. These past two days have been torture. And then you told me all those things when I said things I shouldn't have..."

Another moment passed between us, a comfortable one. But after a moment, the air around me began to thicken. I needed to think about this.

Reluctantly, I moved away.

He looked at me, confused, as I slipped out of his grasp until only our hands were locked together.

"I think we should sleep tonight, Mamoru," I said, looking away. When I looked back, he nodded.

"But I'm taking you back."

"You don't need to-"

"What if what happened outside happens to you while you're heading back?"

"I guarantee you that it won't."

"Better to be safe than to be sorry," he sang.

I sighed, but nodded.

Now, Mamoru didn't just walk me to my room. He also tucked me in, kissed my forehead, whispered goodnight, turned off my lights, and sat down at the furthest part of my room – the wooden box – and watched me drift off. It felt nice, having someone act so protective over me, but also unusual. Because, truth be told, even though I enjoyed it, I wasn't used to it.

And it made it that much harder to fall asleep.

So he began to hum a lullaby quietly and slightly off-key. And before I knew it, I was in dream land, where anything could happen....

**TBC**

**A/N:**_ Please **REVIEW**! I need your honest thoughts about this story._


	5. To Teach Him To Love: Quality Time

**A/N: **_Here's Chapter 5!! We're halfway through with the story!!_

**Thanks:**

**_jupiter2005: _**_(laugh) well, I knew that by this chapter some people would want some romance and stuff. I was planning to make this an only-friendship thing, but I just couldn't help it. I love to write romance stories, and only "friendship" annoys me. Thank-you for your review!_

**_SailorMoonForever_: **_Thank-you sooo much! I was really, really touched when I read your review. You are my... well..:p You reviewed for most of my stories, so I guess "Most-accomplished-reviewer" would be a good name, eh? :p It meant a lot coming from you since you may be the only one who has seen my work grow, unless, of course, some other people have, also, and haven't reviewed. So thank-you!_

**Credits: **I DO NOT OWN SAILOR MOON! But the story is all a creation of my mind!

**Summery: **_Tsukino Usagi, already facing a brutal life of an orphanage, now has to help Chiba Mamoru with his hate for life by attempting to be his friend and helping him see the wonders of love. All this proves to harden when she is a targeted with a sickness she would not reveal to anyone but the doctors. With her life-line reducing dramatically, how can she keep the promise she made to her new friend and herself when death could just as well be around the corner?_

* * *

**To Teach Him To Love**

**Chapter 5**

I opened my eyes slowly, and was shocked to see the blue walls of my room again. Then, all of what had happened yesterday flooded back to me. It literally just _hit_ my mind! It didn't just show me every second of what happened. It came at me all at once.

I sat up in my pink bed, and felt something slide off my stomach. Surprised, I looked down. Mamoru had fallen asleep next to my bed, and his hand was on my stomach before I had so rudely sat up without a notice.

He stirred a wake, blinking sleepily. I had to admit, though, as I looked at Mamoru, he looked just so… innocent. His sleepy face wasn't bothered, nor was it stiff like always. It was loose… It was a face of a child.

That reminded me of the time I had first seen him. I clearly remember thinking that even though he had some manhood in him, he was still an innocent child on the inside, afraid of what the world had bestowed him with.

He rubbed his eyes, and stretched, taking a moment to just sit there and rub his back and massage his right shoulder.

I giggled at him, and that brought him back to the present. His face instantly stiffened.

I frowned. "You know, you looked so cute when you weren't aware I was awake."

"Thanks, meaning now I look like a toad."

"No; meaning that you need to loosen up."

I got up from my bed and went around him. I sat down behind him and began massaging his back and neck.

He moaned once, then turned his body so he was facing me, and lifted me so I was sitting in his lap. His features were warm.

I sighed, content. I just wanted to sit here and stare at such a face… forever.

Mamoru kissed my cheek. "How are you feeling?"

"Full," I murmured.

"Full?"

"I went to have dinner yesterday. I think I ate enough to last me a life time."

Mamoru laughed. "Well, _I'm_ glad you ate something."

"_You_ would be."

His right hand traveled up my back, sending pleasant shivers up my spine, and cupped my neck. "_I _think you need breakfast."

I groaned. "I don't want breakfast."

His face stiffened. I sighed, feeling a disappointment flow through me. I guess he couldn't stay un-stiff for long…. I'm not even sure if un-stiff is a word! Hmm… non-stiff doesn't seem right, either. I'll have to check the dictionary to find that one out.

I put a hand on his cheek, and then I put my other hand on the other cheek. "Do you feel that?"

"Huh?"

"The warmth," I said. "Do you feel it?"

His dark hues widened, and his mouth opened agape. "I…"

"Do you?" I breathed. I needed to know…

"I… I… Usagi, you need food." He turned his face, trying to brush my hands away, but I was not about to give up just yet.

"Mamoru… Do you?"

"_Usagi,_" he moaned.

"Please… you can't always be a cold block. Tell me…. Do you feel the warmth?"

"I do! Is that what you wanted to hear? I do, alright!"

I smiled at him, letting my hands travel down his face and around his neck. "I do, too."

He stared at me, his eyes searching mine. Then, suddenly, he grinned. "You know, you're the first person to get me to admit _that_."

"I'm sure I'm not the only one-"

"Trust me – you are."

I stared intensely into his eyes, and he stared back. Then, I leaned up and pecked his mouth lightly. He laughed, making me giggle.

Mamoru leaned down into the kiss, deepening it. I responded hungrily. For a moment, I felt the whole world freeze. I felt like I was standing on the sun – the heat that surrounded our bodies was indescribable. Silently, I wondered if he felt the same as I did.

He teased my lower lip, biting at it gently, and then pulled back from the kiss.

"Breakfast..?"

"Fine…"

I got up, feeling his warm arms fall from around me, and instantly missed his heat. I gave him my hand, and he took it, standing up. We walked down the stairs, hand-in-hand, to the dining room. We helped Mrs. Wayne carry the food to the table, and then sat down to eat our share of the cereal.

Mrs. Wayne and Mr. Wayne didn't eat with us today. They said something about eating with the rest of the kids, and left the room.

I took his hand from across the table, intertwining our fingers.

It was quite for a while, but I broke the silence after a few minutes.

"You know, Mamoru, I do not mind if I lose my life."

He frowned. "Why don't you?"

"Well… When I first came here, I was too young to know that this was a place that would hunt me. After a while, when I was 7, I started noticing that kids of all ages would come and go. I wondered why that was, so I asked. That's when I found out the actual truth.

"Every night after that, I beat my mind to its pulp, asking why I was even alive if I was unneeded, and wished that I would die.

"When I met you, I wasn't sure why, but I wanted to be the first one to talk to you. I wanted to know you."

Mamoru began making circles on my hand with his thumb. The breakfast was now forgotten.

"Well… now I know what life really is about. It isn't whether you live or die. It's about the people you love. Whether you believe me or not, you taught me that, and now that I know… I don't mind at all if this disease takes my life."

"But what about me..?"

I frowned. "That's… going to be a problem. I don't want to leave you… I want you to be my one and only, and I want to be with you forever."

"But..?"

"It's not happening. I'm sorry."

He heaved a deep sigh. "I'm going to miss you when you leave me to fend for myself. It seems like whoever I meet and love, they always leave me, doesn't it?"

I shook my head. "I'll promise you one thing, though. I will always, _always_ be looking out for you. I will travel every millimeter of heaven if I have to, but I'll find a way to be with you. Whether I'm going to be a spirit, a ghost, or a devil, I promise you. I will be there, next to you, watching over your life." I grinned. "I'm selfish like that."

"How do you know that you can keep that promise? What if there is no heaven? What if it's only dark?"

"Because… I believe that God exists…"

"And how do you know that?"

"I wish I knew the answer. Look at it this way; if there was no God, then there would be no fate. And if there was no fate, we would not have met."

"What?"

"I'm saying that we were fated for each other."

Mamoru pursed his lips, thinking about that.

"Alright," He said. "I'll be eating carrots from now on."

I raised an eyebrow. "_Why?_"

"So I can improve my vision and see you when you come down from the heavens as an angel."

"But what if I'm not an angel?"

Mamoru tilted his head. "If you're not an angel, then I am not made up of water."

I giggled at that. "What if you aren't, though?"

"Hmm…" his mouth twitched into its lop-sided grin which made my heart melt all over again. "I don't know."

I took another bite out of my cereal, thinking about his words from before.

_What if it _is_ dark?_

--

I finished off my cereal, and both Mamoru and I cleared the table. As we headed outside, we heard a few kids going downstairs to eat. We smiled at each other.

Hand-in-hand, Mamoru and I made our way to the playground. I spotted the swing-set first, and started pulling him along towards it. He let my hand go, and I ran over to it. I sat down on the highest swing and waited for him to come up to me.

He took his time, hands in his pockets, walking over. When Mamoru reached me, we shared a secret smile amongst one another.

Mamoru walked behind the swing set and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me to him.

"So, Ms. Tsukino, what would you like to do?"

I pretended to ponder over that. "Hmm… I would like you… to push me!"

I giggled childishly, not expecting him to comply towards my words. But Lords behold, I will never be able to guess what goes on in his head completely and utterly, for he began to push me lightly.

"Whoa!" I whispered, my eyes going wide. I had sat on the swing many times, but I was never able to push myself, for I was always too weak – heck, I'm still weak.

"Are you enjoying yourself?" he asked.

I was about to say yes, but stopped. Something was wrong. Something was very, _very_ wrong.

"Usagi..?"

"Mamoru, stop the swing." I breathed.

The swing halted suddenly, and my stomach turned inside out.

I puked.

"Usagi, what's wrong?"

I frowned. I hadn't puked a lot, thank God, but the after-taste was horrid.

"Something… is wrong." I whispered.

"Something's wrong?"

"Yes."

We sat there for a few minutes, wondering silently what was happening. That's when I felt my stomach turn again, and then the pain that had been torturing me for over three weeks now took hold.

I gasped, surprised, and tried to suppress my hands from blocking out my oxygen intake by gripping the metal of the swing roughly.

"Usagi…" Mamoru whispered. His eyes went wide when he realized what was happening. But that was the last thing I saw.

I blacked out again.

--

I opened my eyes with a groan. The taste in my mouth could have easily made me puke all over again, but I didn't think I had any energy for that.

"She's awake!"

That voice… I didn't like it. For some odd reason, I thought that whoever had that tone was most likely to give me bad news. And besides, I felt like I had been listening to it forever. It brought a great annoyance flowing through my body.

I tilted my head to the right and saw the face of my doctor.

What happened?

"Ms. Tsukino, please listen. I'm afraid that we over-looked your life-span. We think that your two months are actually one…"

"What?!"

"Yes. It's eating up more of your life than we had expected."

"No… You're lying! This is all a lie! It's… too _fast_!"

He really couldn't expect me to believe him… could he? I mean… Where do you hear a doctor tell a patient four days ago that they have two months left to live, and then four days later they state that it's only one month?! This is _unreal_! I refuse to believe it! I can't believe it!

"You will have to stay in the hospital from now on. We are going to try and find a cure to this, but I doubt that we can at this point."

"No! This is all a trick, isn't it? Right now you're about to burst out laughing at me! I know. There is probably no sickness at all."

I probably sounded like a maniac…but can you really blame me? Right now, you're probably thinking 'huh. This never happens in real life. It's obviously fake… too fake.' But could you imagine _living_ it?! Oh no… Mamoru! What would this do to him!?

"I'm sorry. By the way, there is a boy here for you. Mamoru Chiba, I think his name –"

"What are you doing, than?! Send him in!"

Gee… what kind of a doctor is this guy? First he over-estimates my life, then he doesn't send in the man who this all affects? Hadn't they taught him anything in medical school?

The doctor got up from his chair and went out of the room. I heard him tell Mamoru that I'd like to see him now.

And that annoyed me. Cause I don't want to see him _now_. I want to see him _always_.

Mamoru walked in sluggishly. It hurt to see his face twisted in such a painful feature.

"I heard what the doctor said."

"Yea; I did, too."

He smiled briefly at me, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"Mamoru, I am so, so sorry-"

"What are you apologizing about? I should be the one apologizing to you."

I patted the spot next to me. He unwillingly came closer to me and sat down.

"You don't know," he whispered, "how painful it is to see you wrapped in all these wires."

"You don't know how painful it is seeing you frown." I countered. "Do you want me to die seeing you all upset?"

He twitched at the word 'die'. I guess I couldn't blame him. This must be as unreal to him as it is to me.

"I guess not," he finally answered.

"I guess?"

"Ok, ok. I know I don't want you to die with your last memoirs of me like this."

"I thought not," I whispered.

So… what would happen now? Would Mamoru start acting like before all over again?

These answers, I dreaded...

**TBC**

**A/N:**_ Please **REVIEW**! I need your honest thoughts about this story._


	6. To Teach Him To Love: My Life

**A/N: **_3 chapters left... this, Chapter 7, and Epilogue. SO THE STORY IS NOT OVER YET! Stay tuned!  
_

**Thanks:**

**_jupiter2005: _**_Yea, it would be nice if they did, wouldn't it? I'm glad that you find my plot interesting. I find it interesting , myself. The Epilogue is my favorite!  
_

**_Jade: _**_That's touching. Thank-you. It meant a lot to me. I try my best and I gotta admit that my work has gotten pretty... far.  
_

**_MoonPrincessNece: _**_Well, I update around the same time almost every day if that helps! ^-^"  
_

**_LauraDrazen: _**_Yes, it is quite sad, but please remember that the best lessons we learn in life are when something horrible happens. And I did mention in the summery that her life-line is reducing so.._

_**jessicam242: **Yes, they are. hehehe... Thanks for the review!_

_**Sweet-Angel of Love:** Well, I'm actually finished this story. I'm wondering if I should make a Mamoru-POV story on this, but I don't think I have the time.. I want to keep it the same plot and all, but it isn't interesting writing the same story twice so... I'm quite stuck there._

**Credits: **I DO NOT OWN SAILOR MOON! But the story is all a creation of my mind!

**Summery: **_Tsukino Usagi, already facing a brutal life of an orphanage, now has to help Chiba Mamoru with his hate for life by attempting to be his friend and helping him see the wonders of love. All this proves to harden when she is a targeted with a sickness she would not reveal to anyone but the doctors. With her life-line reducing dramatically, how can she keep the promise she made to her new friend and herself when death could just as well be around the corner?_

* * *

**To Teach Him To Love  
**

**Chapter 6**

"You know what?" Mamoru asked, breaking the sudden silence in the small hospital room.

"What?" I asked, grim.

"I'm going to hang out with you as much as I possibly can. They're going to have to get twenty of the strongest man in the whole world to come here and pull me away from you."

I tilted my head. "Oh, really…"

He nodded.

"But what if they served chocolate ice cream downstairs in the cafeteria?"

That did it. We both burst out laughing.

I knew, and Mamoru knew that I knew, that chocolate was his most favorite food in the whole world.

"I'd run off."

I stuck my lip out in a pout. "Oh, so that's how it is? You love me so much that nothing can make you run away from me in my time of need – except for chocolate ice cream."

He nodded. "Yes, that's how it is."

He stared at each other, unmoving, until finally neither of us could stand the silence. We burst into a fit of laughter.

"You know," Mamoru said between hiccups of laughter, "I went into your room and took your diary out. I thought you'd need it. Don't look at me like that! I know you write in it every day."

I pursed my lips. "How do you know _that_?"

"I know that because I'm an excellent spy!"

"Yea," I muttered, "right."

His eyes widened innocently. At that, I had to laugh.

I poked him in the cheek lightly, "So, where is it?"

"It's in my pocket."

"How do you fit a diary in a pocket?"

"You do it very, very carefully." He whispered.

I pursed my lips. "So…? Can I have it?"

"Sure."

He reached down into his pocket and –sure enough – there was my diary.

"How did you..?"

"I already told you – very, very carefully."

I raised both of my eyebrows, but decided I did not want to know. I took the diary gratefully and put it on my stomach. "Want to hear my life story?"

"Sure."

I opened my diary and began to read to him. This was the diary I had lost when I turned eight, and found when I was looking through my boxes at age thirteen, so the only years I've written in there was when I was seven, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, and now. It was a fairly huge book… one thousand five hundred pages – I had once counted when I was bored.

In my diary, I had written a lot of ridiculous things that I now wish I hadn't. They were… silly, but funny.

"You know," Mamoru stated when I read to him about the time I had decided to bake a cake and blew up the kitchen in smoke, "I don't think that I'm going to trust you in the kitchen… ever."

I nodded.

There was a lot of laughter in my room, and this one little –well, big – book had let me – us – forget about my soon-to-be death.

Eventually, Mamoru was told that visiting hours were coming to an end, so he had to leave. But he returned the very next day and snuck me in some vanilla ice cream which we both devoured together.

He kept on visiting. One day, about thirteen days after the news, he said something that I would never in my life forget… no, never in my existence forget.

We were just sitting –well, I was lying – around in my hospital room, as usual. I had convinced Mamoru to have a thumb war, and we were moving my hand that was free of wires everywhere, both of us trying to win. I laughed when Mamoru pulled his thumb back, trying to reach it with my smaller thumb.

Mamoru then put his thumb down, crushing mine underneath. He slowly – and when I say slowly, I mean _slowly_ – began to count to ten.

I pulled and tugged, but to no veil. Mamoru won hands down.

I examined my thumb, bending it. "Fiddle sticks," I muttered.

Mamoru laughed. "Well, that's what you get for battling with a thumb-war master."

I smiled up at Mamoru, who was staring warmly at my face. I reached up with my hand and applied it to his cheek, caressing it. Mamoru responded by putting his own hand on mine. The machine attatched to my heart exhilirated, beeping wildly.

"You know," he suddenly said, his eyes widening, "I don't think I can live without you."

I frowned. "Yes, you can. I know you can."

"No… I don't think I can."

"Mamoru… I don't even want you to think that ever again!"

"Oh, I won't. Because after you're gone I'm-"

"Don't!" I interrupted. My eyes bore into his, glaring, "I don't want you to ever, _ever_ do anything like that!"

"What am I supposed to do, then?"

"Live. For me… Mamoru, I will never have a chance to get married or turn seventeen, eighteen, or even one hundred; I will never be able to skate; I will never have parents closer than Mr. and Mrs. Wayne – their only my caregivers but the closest thing anyone in the orphanage has to parents; and I will never be able to get out of this hospital ever again. But you can do all those things. Please… Promise to live; for me… Promise to live your life to its fullest, to find someone you truly love… to find someone you will be able to marry and have a family with. Promise me to not let my death…" I gasped when I noticed Mamoru's hands shake. "What's wrong?"

"Usagi… You have no idea what you're saying," he replied, laughing bitterly. "I could never, ever find someone I'd love more than you. You are the person I truly love."

I smiled. "I truly love you, too… but I know that you would be able to find someone… someone who you would be fated to be with."

Mamoru sighed. "I am fated to be with you."

I pinched his cheek with the hand that was still resting there.

"Ow!" he said, surprised.

"You can be fated to be with many people." I said matter-of-factly.

"No you-"

My glare cut off whatever it was that he was about to say. "Mamoru… promise me, even if you do not intend to keep that promise, that you would go and find another love of your life."

His face was stiff, but I knew he would not try to argue. He knew what that did to me. "Fine…"

Other than that, all of my memories with him were blissful. He would occasionally peck me…but he never kissed me like that morning oh so long ago again. He was afraid that it would hurt me.

I once decided to tell him, though, about my theory.

I had told him that no couple has an I-would-die-for-my-true-love existence, because that would hurt that person too much. It would be even more painful than death. The biggest present, other than taking his or her own life for that person, that a lover could give was to live.

Mamoru couldn't agree with me more.

So, as you can see, I am a very, very selfish person.

That was my life story – well, with Mamoru, anyhow. I don't think I had a life before Mamoru so…

Well, I better finish off with what I had wanted to say. Mamoru should be here soon.

Mamoru, I love you. I had never loved a person more than I love you. I don't want you to do anything bad to yourself when I leave. I realize now that if I had gone to get help when my body was weak in the first place, I would not have cost you this much pain. They would have done the surgery and I would still be a healthy horse. We could have been so happy together… so, so happy.

But this is life. No one lives forever, no matter how much they'd love to do so, so I am going to part with you on a good note. This letter is meant for you, and only you, to read. These words are only for your eyes. These feelings… They are not for anyone else to take. If you lose this letter one day, I do not mind, as long as you read it and understood why I try so hard all the time to hang on for dear life…

I wish that I could have lived my life to its fullest, but I was a fool. I only realized what living really was when I met you. For that, I say thank-you.

I really hope you do not make the same mistakes in life like I did. Even when you are only sick, I beg you to seek help immediately. Love your life – it's the only one you will ever have – well, maybe, I don't know that much about reincarnation or anything of that sort. I'm not sure if there would be a reincarnation for us…

So… that's it, I guess.

I do not know how long I have left to live, but I doubt it's going to be more than five days.

Once again, I say thank you, Mamoru Chiba, for saving a fool like me from living the wrong way. I only hope a miracle would rescue your broken heart when I'm gone like you have saved mine….

Love with all of my heart,

Usagi...

**TBC**

**A/N:**_ Please **REVIEW**! I need your honest thoughts about this story._


	7. To Teach Him To Love: Lessons

**A/N: **_EPILOGUE IS ONLY LEFT!!! WHOO! This story is coming to its end. I assure you that what happens in this story is **crucial**, so please **keep an open mind! **Epilogue is the best , and you'll see why, so don't consider all to be lost.  
_

**Thanks:**

_**SailorMoon-MoonPrincess: **This isn't exactly narrator POV but I think it was a good thing I did this.  
_

_**Peaceful Moon: **Of course not. I did not expect many people to like this story, I would personally read something a bit more dramatic. A story where the girl was not so... dark-thoughted. But for the lesson that I want to be put out in front of everyones eyes, I decided to do this. Enjoy and thanks for your review!_

_**tiffany aka basketcase: **It is, but the ending is my favorite! You'll see why in the Epilogue!  
_

_**bunnie915: **Yea.... I get that alot. :p Enjoy!  
_

**_jupiter2005: _**_Well, she didn't know that she was sick. It was because when she was weak she did not seek help. (Maybe you should reread the ending in the last chapter?)  
_

_**Sweet-Angel of Love:** Not exactly.... You'll see what I mean in the Epilogue, though it does seem like it in this chapter._

**Credits: **I DO NOT OWN SAILOR MOON! But the story is all a creation of my mind!

**Summery: **_Tsukino Usagi, already facing a brutal life of an orphanage, now has to help Chiba Mamoru with his hate for life by attempting to be his friend and helping him see the wonders of love. All this proves to harden when she is a targeted with a sickness she would not reveal to anyone but the doctors. With her life-line reducing dramatically, how can she keep the promise she made to her new friend and herself when death could just as well be around the corner?_

* * *

**To Teach Him To Love  
**

**Chapter 7**

My name is Mamoru Chiba. Not so long ago I arrived to Lilly Valley Orphanage, thinking it will be a rough life. I thought that this could be the worst possible thing to ever happen to me. But I was wrong. I was way off.

I lost my parents – that's one of the worst things to ever happen to me. I am losing the love of my life – that ties with losing my parents.

Now, I will be all alone.

Usagi, as I mentioned before, the love of my life, is the one thing I wish to not ever, _ever_ lose. But you know what they say… Not all wishes come true.

Usagi's life is reducing every second. Before she fell unconscious, I gave her the letter I stayed up writing two nights in a row. I didn't eat, nor did I sleep. I think she noticed. She commented on the bags under my eyes and how they set off my 'beautiful' face.

She's ridiculous. Lying on her death bed and joking about how I am unable to sleep because of a fly or what not. She didn't know the truth until yesterday.

When I came to visit, she was in her bed, as usual, and looked even weaker than the day before. Trust me – it was not a pretty sight. She was breathing as if she had just run a marathon.

I had once thought – before she got whatever the disease she refuses to share with anyone – that she was skinny. Boy was I ever wrong. As I look at her now… her skin is like… I don't know. It's as if she has no skin. Her hand, which once fit perfectly into mine, now can't even be described as a hand. It looks more like bones than anything else.

There are black hues under her eyes. Their not bags, I know for sure. Her skin can't form bags! Her face and every other part of her skin is like a white piece of paper. No, I'm serious! It's… actually quite gross. But she's beautiful...

I rub her hand, which feels very cold to my own temperature.

The doctor rushes around, trying to save her life, but we both know it's useless. Every second she is slipping further and further away from us. She's almost gone.

"Usagi… Usako." I whisper. I had once heard that "Usako" meant "My bunny." "Usagi" meant "Bunny" so I think that "Usako" fits Usagi quite well. "Usako, you know… I know you're holding on for me. I know you're afraid to let go of life because you're afraid I'll make a big, big mistake after you leave. I read your note, Usako. I understand how much it means to you, now. I promise I won't do anything to my life. I will live for you. But you still have your end of the bargain. You still remember it, don't you? You promised to travel every millimeter of heaven if you had to, but you would visit me. I have been eating carrots." I laughed quietly, "So I expect you to come to me once you figure out how. You don't have to hang on for me."

I listened to the machine which rated her heart beat. It began to race.

"You can let go now. I know you're in pain. You can go. I love you. You don't have to fight any more."

The beeping slowed.

"I love you. I know you love me, too."

The machine beeped once.

I caressed her cheek, and then leaned down to peck her lips. "Good luck, Usako."

There was a pathetic excuse for a heart beat from her, and then…

The room fell quiet.

Usagi Tsukino was not with us any more. She is now in a better world….

My letter… I wrote to her all about what I felt when I first came to Lilly Valley Orphanage. I had answered a lot of her questions in that letter. It looks like she had the same idea as me. She wrote about her life for me.

I can't get used to the idea of her not being here any more. It just doesn't seem possible. It's as if… It's as if Usagi is unable to die.

What about that knot we made? Was it still there? Was it still strongly tied?

Oh, how I wish to have asked her when I still could, but now…

When a person dies, does the knot die, too?

Somehow, I know what Usagi would have said.

"No." she would have murmured in her delicate, quiet voice that never managed to stop the pleasurable shivers in my spine. "It becomes stronger."

I didn't know why she would have said that, or how it could have become stronger, but it definitely sounded like something she would say.

I remember, a distant memory of the many days we would spend with each other playing mindless games and teasing one another, just for the sake of being together, that I asked her if it was possible for her soul to die.

She had said it was. She said that if I forgot about her and did not think about her, her soul would not be remembered, and she would be forgotten, like many of the people who it had happened to.

Irene and Ken came in here. Irene took one look at Usako, and she knew. Ken was still holding on for the last thread of hope.

"She's gone," I murmured to him.

His fatherly expression turned grave.

"She was like my own child!" I heard Irene wail into Ken's shirt.

"I know what you mean. She's been with us for so long," Ken murmured.

I smiled at that. Usagi was wrong. She did have a family. Ken and Irene had loved her like one of their own…

I just wish that she had known that. She would have loved to know that. She had told me over and over again that she wished she had parents…

She did have parents. Her caregivers were like her parents.

Why hadn't they adopted her, though?

They would have brought so much happiness to her by doing just that.

I looked at Usako again. No… this wasn't Usako. Usako had gone. This is Usagi Tsukino. She is not the one my soul loves.

The one my soul loves is somewhere above. This body means nothing to me.

But I wish I could see her light blue eyes again. I wish that this disease had never happened. If it didn't, we could be playing on the swings right this very moment.

I got up and walked over to Ken and Irene. I put a hand on Irene's shoulder and she looked up at me.

"Usagi is still alive, Mrs. Wayne. She told me that if we remember her, that she will never die. That," I pointed to the lifeless body on the bed, "is just a shield that holds the soul of a person like Usagi for a while. Usagi is not dead."

Irene nodded her head at me.

The couple walked out of the room, giving me some time to say goodbye.

I walked over to the bed where Usako's shield was. I caressed the shield's cold cheek and played with its lifeless hair. "I'll be waiting for you, Usako."

Thanks to this amazing soul of a girl, I had learned a very, very important lesson about life. I learned that just because you do not see the person you love in front of you, just because you can't kiss or hug them any more, it doesn't mean that they're not there.

That means my parents are still with me, too.

Also, I learned that the mother of this beautiful creature must have been someone stupid and insane to have let such a tremendous fire escape from her grasp. She would have loved Usagi like the people around her love her.

But you know what? That mother of hers doesn't even deserve to be called her mother. She is nothing but a stranger. She is… nothing.

Usako… I love you. Ken and Irene do, too. If you can hear my thoughts, I hope you know that the kids at the orphanage are mourning you right this very minute.

You will be remembered....

**TBC**

**A/N:**_ Please **REVIEW**! I need your honest thoughts about this story._


	8. To Teach Him To Love: Epilogue

**A/N: **_THIS IS MY MOST FAV PART OF THE WHOLE STORY! Don't know why. Anyhoo, enjoy!  
_

**Thanks:**

**_SailorMoonForever: _**_Thank-you for taking the liberty to give your thoughts to every one of my chapters you have missed. Not many people would do that. It meant a lot to me. Yes, I quite enjoy this chapter! I hope you like it, too!  
_

**_jessicam242: _**_It's sad, but you'll love this chapter, I'm sure!  
_

_**tiffany aka basketcase: **...Not quite sure what to say to that. Thanks for reviewing? (laughs)  
_

**_jupiter2005:_**_ Well, from the point you're looking at, her death was good in more points than it was bad. Bad because... well, she died! But good because she influenced a lot of people and was able to ease her own suffering and pain. Thanks for the review!  
_

_**Sweet-Angel of Love: **(laughs) Oops. Hehehe... sorry 'bout making you cry. I wasn't really planning on it... ^-^"" But oh well! Enjoy this chapter!_

**ALSO THANKS TO WHOMEVER REVIEWS FOR THIS CHAPTER, AS I AM UNABLE TO GIVE YOU CREDIT AFTER THIS!!!**_  
_

**_Credits:_ **I DO NOT OWN SAILOR MOON! But the story is all a creation of my mind!

**_Summery:_ **_Tsukino Usagi, already facing a brutal life of an orphanage, now has to help Chiba Mamoru with his hate for life by attempting to be his friend and helping him see the wonders of love. All this proves to harden when she is a targeted with a sickness she would not reveal to anyone but the doctors. With her life-line reducing dramatically, how can she keep the promise she made to her new friend and herself when death could just as well be around the corner?_

* * *

**To Teach Him To Love  
**

_**Epilogue**_

Two years have passed since the shield of my loved one died. I had not felt Usako's presence yet, but I was not about to give up hope.

I was adopted by Ken and Irene. They said they wanted to keep someone who understood Usako better than them, and they didn't want me to give up the daily praying - for my own sanity, of course. Every day I would tell the same story to them I had told one thousand times about her. There were many memories I had of her, and I had told each and every one of them to everyone that I came in contact with at least one thousand times.

I had contacted the mother of Usagi. When I told her that her daughter had died recently, she had burst into tears. Apparently, the mother had been searching for Usagi for over nine years now. She was not even in the same country as Usagi! Gee, what a way to track, eh?

She flew in the day for the funeral. She looked almost identical to her daughter; except her eyes were gray and her features were tired. Even in death, Usagi's features were never, ever tired.

Her mother, now known as Mrs. GoldRose, had come to help Irene and Ken in the business of the orphanage with her new husband, Mr. GoldRose. Ever since they married, now eleven years ago, they had been searching for Usagi. They wanted her to come and live with them.

How did we contact Mrs. GoldRose, you ask? Apparently, Usagi had her phone number and e-mail written down in her diary. Actually, she had all _nine_ phone numbers. She had been keeping track of her mother all along... Not sure how, though. She just never got the chance or the courage to call her up. I had read every single page of her diary. In a few entries, actually, they were very recent entries; she had attempted to call her mother up, but was afraid to be rejected.

Usagi had written the last of her attempts to call her mother up seven days before her death.

She had known everything about her original mother. She knew that she had gotten married; she knew that she had been going to varies orphanages. What she didn't know, though, is that Mrs. GoldRose was searching for her.

What a difference it would have made, eh?

Every year, Usagi's birthday and her death day are both celebrated by Mrs. GoldRose, Mr. GoldRose, Irene, Ken, the orphanage kids and I. She is berried in the sand of the swing set she loved so much. Her bedroom has not been touched. It's still considered as hers.

Irene still makes Usagi's early breakfast, even though it's not eaten. I always sit in my usual seat in what used to be front of Usagi, eating my breakfast.

Nothing much has changed. It's only as if Usagi had gone completely mute. We still celebrate her life every single day.

It's ironic…

Usagi had not been loved by many people before I arrived. When she finally showed her true self to everyone, no one wanted her to go. She is now considered the most loved orphan in the world in each and every one of the hearts that beat in this orphanage.

Every new soul that appears here is quickly informed of the one girl who has made a difference in everyone's lives. The new kids at this orphanage don't know her, but when they feel alone they go to her resting place and ask for her guidance, or cry. Usagi is like a mother, she is like a best friend, is like a lover, a daughter, a sister… She is everything to everyone.

Every day, I go to her room. I pray to God for Him to take care of her soul, and then I go to the swing set and do the same thing. Sometimes, someone would join me.

Today is the day Usagi died, precisely three years ago. In just a few seconds, she would be officially three years dead… or even more alive, depends on how you look at it.

Everyone in the orphanage is downstairs. They are all having a moment of thought about her.

I never join them, though. I always sit on the soft grass near the swing set, having my moment there.

Five,

Four,

Three,

Two,

One,

Zero…

Usagi is now officially three years… dead or alive, take your pick.

I felt a light brush of air around me. Then, something warm on my shoulder. No, not warm. Hot!

"Mamoru…"

That voice… it was like music to my ears. It sounded like Usako, only more… alive! It was louder, too.

"Mamoru Chiba. Open your eyes."

I couldn't help but do as the voice in my head said. I opened my eyes slowly, and then looked up.

I saw nothing, but I still felt the hot spot on my shoulder. Suddenly, it disappeared. A few seconds later, I felt a burn around my waist.

What I saw next surprised me.

The first thing I saw was white. All white had suddenly appeared in my vision. I followed it down and suddenly, the white turned to a glowing yellow… No! That was hair.

I staggered back, surprised. "U-sa-ko…?"

"That's right, Mamoru… I promised you, didn't I?"

I reached out to touch the figure, but my hand went through her. She giggled.

"That tickles, Mamoru."

"H-how are you…?"

"For three years, I followed your prayers. I traveled the heavens above, trying to find a door, a portal, to see you just once more."

"Once… more..?"

"Shh… Don't worry. I'm with you forever more, Mamoru."

"Usagi, you wouldn't believe all that's happened! Your mother, your real mother, she's been looking for you!"

"I know."

"You are the most loved orphan in this orphanage."

"I know."

"I love you!"

"I know."

I was at the loss of words now. Her voice was so soft, each word muttered as a sigh. Even in death, it was loud but also somehow muted. This was… impossible. Was I dreaming? This had to be a dream!

"Oh, this isn't a dream, Mamoru. This is as real as the wings on my back."

"You're… an angel?"

That felt odd to say. Of course she was!

"Yes… You were right! You _are_ made of water!"

I had to laugh at that. "Well, of course I am."

"Mamoru… you will not be able to see me after today. But I will be with you forever now. I will stir you away from danger from now on! I promise you..."

"I won't see you?"

"This was God's gift for me." She whispered. "To see you… He thought I deserved something, considering I'm prayed over twice every day."

She suddenly disappeared.

"Usagi..? Usagi!" I was on full-panic attack mode now. Where was she? What happened? Where was my Usako?!

I heard her giggle in my head. "I am with you. And no, the knot never disappeared. It just got stronger…"

I blinked. Usagi was now with me…just like she always promised me.

Now, I know. I would be able to get through every hardship of life; all because of one girl and her promise….

Usako, I love you.

In the breeze of the cool summer's day, I heard her chiming laugh echoing through the open space. So soft, so sweet... just like chocolate. Somehow… it was more beautiful then any other sound I have ever heard....

**The End**

**A/N:**_ Please **REVIEW**! This was the last chapter of **To Teach Him To Love**. Thank you to all of your support! I'll be starting a new story soon, but I have not figured out what to write about. **IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEA'S YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE WITH ME, PLEASE DO! I will give you credit if I find myself interested in it, or if I get an idea from your idea.**_

_Thanks again!_

_**BloomAmber**_


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